Outta control...

Sigh... late update again...

Recently got an increasing number of stuff which I'm losing control of...
Time, cash, work, relationship... You name it...

Cause of my work place and the shortage of man-power, I've been doing duty like there's no tomorrow and with the help of my 'UN-lucky star', I got myself into some stupid case which involve missing parts of a rifle... Damn serious it is...

Bills on the rise, GST hike, no more home cook food thus gotta spend on dinner (again), more last minute recall and have to rush to work during wee hours and spent more than 200+ just on cab fare last month... I'm really eating myself alive...

Oh, and my house is offically a zoo now... Koi, Arowana, Lou-Han (total 20+ non-edible fishes) and half a dozen of God-knows-what birds they are that won't shut up... Couple with the insane number of mosqitues in the house, you WON'T wanna be here... EVER...


Relationship... I've made a point not to disclose too much bout what is happening between my girlfriend and I... Not really that I'm losing control over her or the relationship... More like I've never able to control neither anyway...
Just came to realize that I'm still not mature enough yet...


Sigh...
Really like to daze into the clouds this days...
Brings the peace which I long desire...


Oh BTW, I'm taking Bike lesson now...
And don't start giving crap bout how dangerous it is...
I know it all and no matter what you all say it still won't stop me Xb


And so today's update:


Spend: lost count again, only thing I remember is the 200+ spent on cab fare...
Save: Oh get real...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 150+
Saving Bank: 8500
Saving (2): 500o+
Saving (3): 9105.96 units (Don't ask what it is, think of it as a fix deposit)

Money = Happy?

For certain security reason, i rather not desclose the sum in my bank now...
Got quite a FEW bonus... Again...

Like i said on the title, my goal for saving so much is nothing more than to gave my girlfriend her dream wedding which estimated near 100k...
Currently i'm roughly 20% to my goal now...

But as time goes by, the more i withness the rise of my saving, the more lonely i felt...


You see, my girlfriend now just started her new term in polytechnic and as i predicted, our time together was ripped off by quite a chunk...
New friends, new enviroment, new schedule...

Seriously, i don't blame her for the decrease of our time together...
But...
Can anyone really don't feel the pain?


There's once a friend of mine said i'm being a chauvinistic pig as this whole blog is nothing but stuff which i do to show how great a boyfriend i am due to all the stuff i did for my girlfriend...

I've kept her comment in mind all this time and make sure that the things i wrote here brings the minimal shame to her... Which explains the missing months of article which things are rocky between my girlfriend and I...



If a Leo's curse is its temper, what happen to mine?



And so today's update:


Spend: totally lost count... Gave bout 5k to my mom, 1k+ for my Wii (yeah!), few hundreds for stuff here and there, and a 200+ on games for my girlfriend...
Save: Quite a freaking lot... (You get the idea how big this bonus is...)
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: XXXX
Saving Bank: 8000
Saving (2): 5006

Kryptonite of parents...

It seems like just bout all of us happen to have a period of time where we yearn for freedom so much we would even kill for it...
And it all mostly happen in our teens years where we were most disturbed...

If you guys ever watch the play by Russel Peters, at one point he mention bout gaining power over parent is like finding Kryptonite...

For most of us, just bout the whole of our childhood were very much sheltered by our parents whose intention is nothing else but to protect us, in which however the method they may use...

Us the younglings, while may or may not understand their intention, will always dream of having this 'Kryptonite', so we can just stop them for just once, so as to make room for us to spread our wings...
Some of us may even go as far as to hunt for this 'Kryptonite' without even trying to understand what is the moral behind all the suffering they may be going through...

Yet, like what the uncle of Peter Parker A.K.A. Spiderman says, 'With great power comes great responsiblity'...
While getting it is one thing, controling it is another...
Many turn to the dark side upon gaining such power and fail accept any form of reasoning anymore... Thus losing one's self to the devil himself...
Only when one is burned by the flame of hell will they come to understand that this freedom they yearn for is nothing more than just mere illusion...


In the end, one must realize...
This 'Superman' who we are using this Kryptonite on, at the end of the day, is still the Good guy who is just trying to protect us from 'Lex Luthor'...



Today's entry is dedicated to my little cousin who have ran away from home...
Wishing that she may come to see the light soon...

And so today's update:


Spend: 66.50 on food, 4 on batteries, 17 on comic, 4.90 on a toy (yes, toy... sue me...)
Save: 1000 (got a bonus... again... =P)
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 97.99
Saving Bank: 7000
Saving (2): 5004

When you wish upon a star...

Was rather tired last night so didn't go the chance to write up bout my latest trip...

In fact, i just came back from a 4 days sailing, not really that long for others who did more but still the longest i've gone yet...

While the sailing is relatively peaceful, there is this one door i refuse to allow myself to even look through it... What door you ask?
The main entrance...
Maybe i'm just thinking too much but i get a feeling of great agony shall pour onto me should i bring myself to realize how i'm really so far away from home...

But not all was bad during the trip...

On the last night before we make our way back, i came across to withness a moonless night...
Everything around me was so dark that i can't even see the horizon...
And up above me, the stars shine brighter than anything else, as if they know their the very last of the light we need...
Our very last hope...


And for that very brief moment,
When you can't tell how far you are away from the sea of stars almost all around you,
When stars were shooting like you never seen before...


It felt like the whole gallaxy is upon you...


At that moment...
i was thinking...
If there really is such a place call heaven...
Where i should spend the rest of my departured life eternally...


I wish heaven would be a place like this...


And so today's update:

Spend: 11 on food, 320 on bills, 18 on cab...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 180
Saving Bank: 7000
Saving (2): 4000

Gone...

Sorry for keeping you guys so long...
Been quite awhile since i last update here...

Well, despite my usual chatty-self, i can jolly well describe the last 2months with just 2 words:
Duty and Sailling...

Feb,
one hell of a month jammed pack with all the duty they can dump onto me...
Reason?
Excuse sailing...
All stupid jobs are dump onto me too...
Why?
(see previous answer)...
All rubbish (literally...) are yet dump onto me as well...
...
You get the point...
...
All the way till the end of the month where the doc shall decide whether i should live or not...

So the verdict is set, i do NOT have Narcolepsy... Just plain old hypersomnia...
The difference between this 2 is that one can't be wake while the later can...
And the later isn't... err... Serious enough to keep my ass off the sea, so...


March,
Sail...
Was drag onto all sailing they can get me in this month...
Reason?
(No, not excuse sailing... though close enough...)
Cause they want me to clock up more sailing time/experience due to...
... Nevermind...


And so today's update:


Spend: You gotta be crazy if you think i still remember where i spent for the last 2 month... (It'll be one hell of a long list anyway...)
Save: Dunno...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: ???
Saving Bank: 7000
Saving (2): 4200

Near death experience 2...

For those who know me better, i had quite an experience bout 5 years ago...

Just yesterday, or should i say the day before, feeling bit weird and woke up with a cramp in my stomach... Didn't thought it anything serious especially when the last time i told my superior, he smack me back with a comment say: stomach cramp are only for girls...

Anyway, off to work i go, knowing that i have a medical appointment that night, i try not to make too much off a big deal bout it though i can't help but to feel a chill even under the hot sun... Try all ways to warm up but none work... Finally an officer took notice on how pale i look and ask me to report sick... it 10.40am then...

Took me a good 5min to walk what usually just a 2min walk from my ship to the gate's guard house... Its at there where i drop dead and have the guards call my ship people to send me to the medic... So happen that 1 of those who arrive to fetch me happen to be one of my sergeant who very proud of his job, his past battle scars, his soldier father... The moment he saw me in my pitiful condition he gave a very blunt comment of: Useless bastard...
Well he may think that way bout not the other 2 who were with him, one including a chief, both who glared him that instant... Feeling the immense pressure around him, he ate back his words and claimed its just a joke... My fever worsen, feeling sleepy, 11am...

A very blunt check up at the medic where they put me on drip (i hate drips, its not really the needle i hate, its the fact that those trainee medics that can never find my veins that irritates me the most). Very soon i was transported to Changi General Hospital. By now i'm already freezing my butt off and the hospital couldn't even bother to gimme a blanket...

Not too sure how long it is i was over there, only thing i know is that another of my proud superior's face literally turn white when the medic told him my temperature peak at 42 degree...
You know those static which you saw on TV whenever it lost it's reception? That what i literally saw in my eyes quite a few times while i'm dazing off in the hospital... The only thing is that its purplish with flashes of green instead of black and white...
Every single bone in my body aches like shit as if they're trying to break me inside out...

Gastric flu, thats what the doc says, and send me home straight after...

For the next 2 days, i literally felt llike i'm controlling my body from a third person point of view, only to zoom in when needed... Not to mention that the only thing that's coming outta me are either fluid or gas... From both end...


Guess i'm lucky to still be sane and alive...

The only question is...
Why am i still alone when i need her the most?


And so today's update:


Spend: bout 50+ just on food, 10 for ship's fund, 12 for girlfriend's gift...
Save: 30 bucks, long story...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 200+
Saving Bank: 6000
Saving (2): 3508.23

A sad qoute...

A month since i last update...

There will be only 3 reason why i haven't update:
1, too busy...
2, spent too much to remember what i spent on...
3, some personal problem which i'm relactant to share...

I leave it for you guys to figure out which it is...


At the mean time, here's one of my fav qoute by Freya Crescent of FF:IX,

"To be forgotten is worse than death..."


And so today's update:


Spend: 500 into saving, 550 household allowance, 70 farecard, 85 on games, 100 to help my chef buy his memory stick, 87.05 on my girlfriend's bill, 31.60 for 2nd year aniversary gift, 170.26 on last month bill, 200+ on others...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 300+
Saving Bank: 6000
Saving (2): 3508.23

Overspent...

If there's one thing my parent are impress bout me is my ability to get stuff for free...

Well, sort of...

Through phone and internet contract and others...

Till date, the stuffs which i got for free includes:

2 modem (including the new wireless one)

3 handphones (including my latest N73... Note: nobody believe i got it for free even now)

1 MP3 player

1 Osims foot massager

1 digital camera

and my latest freebie: a PSP...

Well, of course...

Not everything is always free...

Just the accessories and stuff i got for those freebies usually adds up quite alot and especially when i not very good in controlling my spending...

(Hey, don't tell me you never gone on a shopping spring before...)

If its not for this blog, i probebly won't even realise how much i've spend so far...

Can you imagine how scary it is?

But seriously, after double checking how much i've spend in just one week...

...

I think its bout time i stop all this nonsense already and get back to whatever of my life is...

Really...

And so today's update:

Spend: 287.40 for games and accessories, 49.90 for phone memory card, 50 for farecard, 500 saving, around 50+ on food...
Save: 500 into my saving (2)... (feeling guilty that i spend too much so bank in 500 more =P)
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 530+

Saving Bank: 5500
Saving (2): 3508.23

Good time at last...

I guess the only thing good bout working in this forsaken place is...

Well... the pay...

Finally got the bonus which everybodies talking bout...

So when on a little celebration with my girlfriend...

Though i kindda over spent a tad...

Well, i did put aside more than half of the whole thing for saving...

So i guess it all balance out...

I hope =P

Hack, i'll just cut to the chase and get on with my list...

It'll make more sense that way...

And so today's update:

Spend: 13 movies, 7.10 on snacks, 47.08 on lunch, 134.37 for girlfriend's bill, 1000 for household allowance, 105.50 for my games, 20 for farecard, 13 on taxi fare, and a total of 415.60 for my girlfriend's christmas gifts which include a dreamcatcher, DS lite, one DS game, some DS accesories and a limited edition 20th anniversary Casltevania collectables...

Save: 2000 into my saving (2)... (WOOHOO!!!)

Wallet: 39

Coins: ???

Current Bank: 2022.72 (can you believe i still have this much left after spending so much in one day?)

Saving Bank: 5000

Saving (2): 3007.93

Woes...

Its been bout a whole month since the whole thing bout my sleeping condition 1st begin...

Everything seems to go down hill from there on...


The doc says the same thing i read on wikipedia:
Neither the cure nor cause have yet been found...


He gave a good 4 weeks excuse from sailing (till 19th of Dec), hoping by then i would have done visiting the specialist and got a memo/report back... Till then all my activities and status are under: pending...

But what he didn't foresee is that the medic book my appointment exactly one week AFTER my excuse, on the 27th of Dec...


Nevermind that...


Now while i'm not able to sail which render me useless in all operation, the head of department fear the worse would happen and thus keep me outta all ACTUAL duty as well...

In short, no sailing or ACTUAL duty till my status is confirm...

(Note that i say ACTUAL duty... They won't let my pass my test cause of this and keep me "under-study", term they use for people who are learning to do duty, until further notice...)


Not only that, for the past month, everyday, day in day out there will be people questioning bout:
How did this happen, why must you ruin your own career, since when this happen, where got such rubbish, if you are a 'regular' why do this to yourself, everyone will have to urge to fall asleep and what makes you so special, then why/how did you sign on in the first place, if you own you have this condition all along why didn't you report it sooner, don't try to play 'punk' with me, trying to 'chao geng' is it...
If its not one of the above, they'll be most likely saying:
How useless or what a burden i am to the ship, that i'll be posted out, my contract is on the line and i'll need to pay the penalty, that i've learn to fight my inner demons, i'm not making enough effort, i'm running away from the problem and not solving it...

And so on...

But who would have understand that:
This condition is usually diagnose 10 to 20 years after the 1st incident happen, it wasn't my idea to report bout this condition and thus ruin my career, i knew since young that all along i have this bad habit, but didn't realise its actually so serious cause it have not affect neither my studies nor my past working experience, i have great difficulties fighting it cause i don't know when it actually happen and even if i do fight it, my body can't take it very well and end up fall sick very easily...


With this in mind, i've really lost all motivation to work... Think bout it, no matter how hard work or try, no credit is giving, no help is offer, nothing but piles and piles of complains are launch at me mercilessly...


Frankly speaking, under such less-welcoming situation, i would have request to leave the ship a long time ago...

But i feel that i really owe it my senior...



Here's a little story bout my department:


The department which i'm sent to (against my will), sent me to the basic training as the last "sacrisfy" batch due to (what i know so far): 1, shortage of department and thus open a last-minute class for the 'leftover' people who couldn't made it to any department... 2, the need to replace the last batch of people of my department in my ship whom have been waiting for their replacement for the last 2 years...


Beening a replacement ain't too bad less the fact that:

1. The head of my department or AKA my chief have a rather interesting reputation to keep...
   
2. My Leading senior just got post out due to medical problem...
   
3. And the last member left is the senior which i suppose to replace...

Frankly speaking, the people from my department have been rather kind towards me, especially my seniors...
Thus if i should really leave just like this, it'll be really unfair to them...


Sigh... But who is there to be fair to me?


And so today's update:

Spend: 10 on game accesories, 10 for ship's cap, 30+ on expences with girlfriend, 5 on food, 176.93 bills...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 30++
Saving Bank: 5000
Saving (2): 1007

Lost...

Its been bout 2 years into my relstionship with my girlfriend now...
Though its rather short compare to some of what i know, i've come some conculsion...

I read this mail a few years ago something bout: love is not bout loving someone perfect but to love someone imperfect perfectly...

I've come to realise the 2nd meaning behind this phrase and that is there is no perfect person in this world... No matter how hard you try to be one...
Well here's the contradicting part... It is possible to be perfect but only to so limited number of people around you... usually not more than... 5 max?

Nevermind that... Lost track of what i wanna say...

While my quest to be a perfect boyfriend for my girlfriend, i found out that while people complain what women want is upmost difficult to achieve, men's ain't not so great neither...
Oh sure... There're lots of jokes going on that all men want is girl(s) to appear naked with (insert you favourite hobby, drink, food, etc...) but the truth is, men are usually much more demanding than they think...

Here's a brief list what men would want in their women:
Pretty, figure, slim, understanding, able to cook, don't nag, don't spend their money, not to shop all the time, not to drag them to shop with them, not to ask them those "Sure die" question, not to stop them from their favourite activities (soccer, basketball, gaming, etc...), don't cry so much...

Blah blah blah... and the list goes on...
Men are greedy, i know...

So the thing is that, while its literally impossible for a men to be perfect, it ain't not so easy to find a perfect girl too... Which i believe most men have already found out by the time they even read this...

Lost track on what i'm saying again...

Ever since i've been with my girlfriend, i've been critisize by lots of people saying how stupid i am for doing all so much unnessasary things for my girlfriend... So much that sometimes my girlfriend don't get it as well and in the end, still end up quarreling with me... I can't even start listing them but that's not the point...

The point of it all is that I can never be perfect no matter how hard i try and while all this while i've been trying so hard to adept to my girlfriend's life, i should give her a chance to adept into my life too... All to let her know both Pro's & Con's bout me instead of hide my ugly side from her...

...?
Wait a minute, isn't that the whole point to start with?


Forget it...
I've totally lost track on what i'm trying to say...


And so today's update:


Spend: 50 on game, 20+ on expences with girlfriend, 5 on food, 19 for movie, 82.67 for girlfriend's bill...
Save: 5 buck on the game...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 321.48
Saving Bank: 5000
Saving (2): 1007

Narcolepsy...

For those who have know me well enough, they could easily answer this simple question bout me:

What time do i usually goes to bed?
A: Before 10pm
B: Before 12midnight
C: Before 4am
D: Before sunrise
E: Who needs a bed?


I've been having this rather interesting sleeping habit ever since primary 3...
To be able to sleep just bout anywhere, anytime, anyhow... Yes... Anyhow...

Here's a brief list of different ways i can actually fall asleep:
Studying, working, in class, in tuitorial, in experiment, waiting, sitting, standing, talking, playing game, with my eyes open, hands still scribling on paper, still active listening to others while still able to answer questions...

and the list goes on...


Now, while clearly after looking at the list even a kid would know by now that this is not normal...
But yet, i'm able to go about all this while without anyone even noticing my problem... For over 10years...
Reason simple enough, cause nobody care, nobody bother, nobody believe me...

I mean seriously, if you caught someone sleeping in class, at work, etc, the first thing that usually came to mind is that this fellow is: lazy, tired, can't be bothered...

Which is basically what i've been condemned for the past few years...


Well, i suppose it could jolly well be ignored for the rest of my life if nobody do anything...
But somebody did... and thus my chief insisted that i consult the MO bout my problem...

Narcolepsy...
A nerulogical condition most characterized by Excessive Daytime Sleepiness, episodes of sleep and disorder of rapid eye movement sleep. It is a type of dyssomnia...


Sigh...
Happy now?


And so today's update:


Spend: 100 on games, 60 on farecard, 20+ on expences with girlfriend, 10 on food, 550 for household allowance, 500 savings...
Save: guess quite alot since it could cost quite alot if i had my condition examined by specialist...
Wallet: 55
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 550++
Saving Bank: 5000
Saving (2): 1007

雨の樹

1 month and a week...
2 weeks since update...

Went to visit the 'raining tree' with my girlfriend...
The tree which named 'Miracle'...

While from far it look like a normal tree, upon closer inspection its bark is clearly artificial...
(Frankly speaking it not too hard to identify since its the only tree which is still considerably brushy compare to other scrawny trees...)


While its not all magical or what-so-ever...
It manage to calm me down from the fustration of 2 continuous week of shit dumped on me...
The 'rain' is some what cooling is this hazy and humid surrounding...

'Refreshed'...
The best word to describe the feeling...


'Miracle'...
A great name for a great tree...



And so today's update:


Spend: ...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 21++
Saving Bank: 4500
Saving (2): 957

For those whom i care, for those whom i love...

Its been two and a half week since i post on board ship...
Starting to feel...

Empty...


Really begining to hate this place...
Felt like i've sold my soul...
Not only have it taken away my pride, my life, my game...
Now its even on the verge of taking away my love ones too...

Recently lots of my friends have been looking for me... Saying i've seems to disappear for this world...While my girlfriend is very kind enough to understand my situation, i still feel i owe her and my friends an apology...

To my dear friends,
I apologise for not keeping contact with you...
I regret not being able to keep our strings close and letting it drift away...
I'm truly sorry for not able to do anything bout it...

To my beloved girlfriend,
Though i may not be able to be there when you need me, nor am i able to do anything to make the situation better...
My promise to you remain strong as ever...
Nothing shall ever sway me away from you...
I shall continue to be a better man...
Only for you...

And people,
Till i leave this forsaken place, i may still have quite a problem keeping contact with all of you...
But believe me,
People may have forgotten Jack,
But Jack will never forget you...

My friends,
This blog is writen for all of you...



And so today's update:


Spend: 10 farecard, 4 on bread, 2 to replace my pen which my shipmate lost, and some on drinks...
Save: Quite abit on medication bill i guess...
Wallet: 14
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 324.15
Saving Bank: 4500
Saving (2): 1007

A sailor's life...

Some say that sailors are the 'Man of the man', tempered by the rough sea, they fear none...

I don't know bout other country but from what i've seen in my place so far, i'll say they're rather...

Hmmm... Can't find the word to describe it...
To feel strongly that a man should be strong and tough while outcasting the gentler ones as gays...

I'm not saying that that believe is totally wrong... Cause a man should have a certain degree of toughness in order to protect the one he loves and to basically, just be a man...
But i don't think they are the bunch of people who you would wanna look up to them as role model...

You see, there is this saying bout the people here that goes: Sons of the sea...
Sound good and reasonable but the catch come when the full sentence is told, which is:
We are the sons of the sea and fathers of many lands...

To put it short, people here could jolly well be some of the worst bunch you could ever knew...
Heavy smokers, been through the red light district of almost every country which they sailed to, couldn't care less much bout how they're love ones feel when they're away, vulgarity is their second languge and drink alcohol as if they are H2O...

And for those who are not one of the above, most likely they'll do everything to convert them which include: peer pressure, force alcohol and most commonly used, discrimination...
Which basically means, they won't accept you until you prove you're one of them...

Which i personally feel that if they want me to be anything above...
OVER MY DEAD BODY...

No hell way am i gonna lose myself just so i can fit into these bunch of barbarians...
I love myself, my sanity, my geeky and nerdy way, my computer and my games, my feminine side which allows me to understand other's feeling and most importantly i love my girlfriend...

I don't care if i'm a gay to them as long as my girlfriend likes who i am...


Beside, they say that the divorce and break up rates amoung them are ridiculously high...

I wonder why...



And so today's update:


Spend: 500 saving, 550 household allowance, 120 saving (2), 55 for auction game, 12.50 lunch, 4.80 for yesterday dinner, 50 for farecard, 8 haircut, 6.50 for passport photo and maybe a somemore not mosre than 20 for stuff that i can't remember...
Save: At least 12 for the auction game which retail price 60++
Wallet: 22
Coins: 3.05
Current Bank: 334.15
Saving Bank: 4500
Saving (2): 1007

Hot sun, no sand, rough sea... VERY rough sea...

One week out at sea... (technically its 3 day 3 night, but close enough)

The good thing is i only spent 3+ for the whole week...


The bad thing?

Let see now... Where should i start?
The ship which i'm posted to is one of the oldest ship in S'pore Navy... Still floating...
Well... If i were to describe it in one word, i'll say: STINKS...

Really... It smells... The chocked up toilet bowl, the rottening of leftover in the clogged sewage, the corrosion of the brass and metal from the salt water, the smog from the engine, and worst of all, the contaminated air in the air-conditioning which is filled with years of vomiting odour...

Speaking of vomitting, i've learnt the very hard way that i have very serious motion sickness...
After vomitting an average of 2 bags per day... i think i've lost a good 5kg or so... And when your sea sick is as bad as mine, you can't tell whether your stomach is:
hungry, stomach ache, just wanna vomit or all of the above...
By the 2nd day, all thats coming out are plain juice mix of water and stomach acid... Lying down helps... ALOT... But the only problem is, how long do you think you can stay down there before someone drags you up...

The ship rocks harder than heavy metal... When its moving, it rocks back and fore, like a mix between the roller coaster and the pirate ship, just damn freaking longer... When is stops, it rolls side to side, which makes walking more difficult than on ice... And if your thinking moving in slower speed helps, there's the smog from the engine which you gotta deal wtih...

Sigh... i've never been so grateful to be able to walk on flat stable ground, able to eat without worring the spoon may go up my nose, able the sleep without fearing of vomitting when i wake up, able to shit without worrying the shit may end up in my face...


All hope is not lost i guess...
Though there's 3 things i've learnt in this trip...

1, the sea out there is really blue...
After being confined in this small island for so long, i almost forgot that the sea i always see at the beach is not really green... Kindda reminding you that, if you keep yourself too closed up for too long, you'll tends to lost sight of the bigger picture...

2, there's another world beyond the horizon...
Not everyday your able the see such sight where from all angles around you is nothing but sky and sea for as far as you can see... (i think i put 1 too many 'see' between the 'sea's... oh well...)
No birds, no fishs, not even a tiny shadow of a distance ship...
Almost makes you wonder: How big IS this world... Really...

Last bout not least, there is no total darkness...
Even in the middle of nowhere out in sea, it'll never be pitch black to a point you can't see whats in front of you... Cause even in the darkest of the night, there'll always be even a star to bring you that tiniest light you need to show you the way... In my case, there's a very generous full moon to lift my spirit with a path of moonlight that shimmers cross the gentle waves of the ocean... It almost make the whole trip worth while...

Well, ALMOST... If i wasn't vomiting my lungs out that time...



1st time in 10 months after signing the paper,
i truly regret it...



And so today's update

Spend: 2 on lunch and 1.20 for a candy...
Save: earn 18bucks from spare change from the com i build for my parent...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ??? (okay, i'm lazy... sue me =P)
Current Bank: 20++
Saving Bank: 4000
Saving (2): 880

Moment of truth...

Could jolly well be the poorest period in my life...

WAY overspent this month, too much on food (thanks the to 1week break, constantly went to out to meet my girlfriend and of course feeding her), too much (than what i'm suppose to) on games (pre-order it... hey the games are good okay?)...

Sigh...
Why does all the good games have to come all at the same time?

Oh and for goodness sake STOP giving comments bout how stupid i'm for paying my girlfriends bill...
Yes its a heavy burden but i trying to lighten her load here...
Have any of you guys ever thing bout what you girls are going through whenever you go out on a date? In my case, she's not working it yet and thus still taking allowance from her parents... Having only 250 per month for all her expences including phone bill and transport, you think she can afford going out all so offen and keeping up with the phone bill?
What i'm doing here is so i can lighten her load so she's able to go on a date with more ease...

And hopefully earn the trust of her parent too...



And so today's update

Spend: 25 for a game guidebook, 15 manga, near 100+ on food...
Save: Yeah right...
Wallet: 22
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 20++ (no, not 2k+, TWENTY plus)...
Saving Bank: 4000
Saving (2): 880 (ate into my savings already...)

John Tucker Must Die...

Just watch the movie this afternoon, the typical movie bout how girls goes crazy over 1 hot guy and so on...

Now, after such show you just couldn'tbut to ask:
Why girls dig jerks?

Chinese there's a say which literally translate as:
Woman shan't love if man ain't bad...

I mean, what is if all this 'bad guy' thingy which all girls go ga-ga about? We all know that he's gonna dump you in the end, make a fool outta you in the end, totally break your heart as easy as breaking the wooden chopstick for asian food...
Yet, girls still couldn't help but to fell almost shamelessly (pardon my language) for them...

Why?

Take this John Tucker for example, they all know his a player, he always have at least 2 'girlfriends' whom he's going out with, he always lie to get the girl he want, use the same old cheesy (yet smart i must admit) line on every girl, and worst of all claim victory for the girls whom he bangged...

So what is it that girls see in him?
I mean, oh sure his rich, his handsome, his macho, had an ass girls kill for, captain of basketball team, witty, charming, knows how to make a girl feel good...
...
I just answer my own question didn't I?


I think i'll just go hang myself now...


And so today's update:
(Note: For the sake of those who i will be going out this coming week, i shall keep the numbers in my possesion unknown till the end of the week)

Spend: 48 for my last pre-order game, 20 for a present for my friend's birthday, 287 for bills, 10 farecard, lost count on food...
Save: you kidding me?
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: ???
Saving Bank: 4000
Saving (2): ???

Heaviest week of my life...

Sigh...
Though its over but its still hurt to lick my wounds...
Maybe i'll go see a doc soon...

Nothing much you guys need to know, except i can breath bit easier now...

Commo everybody, follow me...

BREATH...
*inhale*
.
.
.
*exhale*

Ahh... life is beautiful...

Oh and my back hurts...
Maybe cause for the last 72hours i only slept bout 10...

Need... sleep...
Zzz...


And so today's update:

Spend: 96 for game and stuff, 25+ at a really cool resturant for a farewell party, 130+ girlfriend's bill, 50 farecard, 550 household allowance, 500 monthly saving, 100 return to saving(2)... (amazing how fast my money goes the moment it comes isn't it...)
Save: 100 earn for duty, got back 20 from friend...
Wallet: 14
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 475++
Saving Bank: 4000
Saving (2): 997

Worst case senario...

Just went to watch "The Devil Wear Prada" with my girlfriend is afternoon...
Quite a good show i muxt say, though the starting looking like its just one of those chick-flick...
(Oh and i love Miranda's white hair, really give her a the emperess look)...

Ok, call me strange for all i care, it a habit of mine ever since i'm a 'only-child' of the family that i like to reflect upon myself on the worst case senario should anything happen to just bout everything (which explains alot why i'm always talking to myself too...)...

The thing is, for the past near 2 years of my relationship with my girlfriend, i've constantly reflect on myself all sort of wicked senarios (i worry too much, i know...) to... how do i say... Prepare myself should god forbid any of those rubbish would happen... And also at the same time, testing myself to see what are the limits of my tolerance towards my girlfriend's lady's temper... (you know, PMS and stuff...) All in all the main purpose is so that i can better man for my girlfriend...
You people may laugh you heads off, but believe me, it've done wonders for us... I've learnt to be extra patient towards her problems, give her the space she need, not constranining her social circle, understands what is it she likes in her hobby (I've never thought i'll EVER bring myself to read a book word for word seriously...)... And she have too learned to understand my needs, my way and my life...

So far my bottom line conclusion is that:
As long as she doesn't cheat on me, i'll love her with everything i got no matter how much shit she throws at me...

Ok, for those who are wondering: 'so what those it have to do with the movie i just watched?'

Now, THIS by far is the WORST senario i've yet to test upon myself, which is inspire by one scene in the movie... Imagine this:
Girl get over demanding, guy finally lose his sanity, guy initiate some time apart to cool off, girl broke down, girl met old friend who happen to have a crush on her for a long time and was there for her, they had a few drinks, they have a night *AHEM* together, girl regret it, girl wanna go back to her guy...

So the case now is that, technically she wasn't cheating on the guy since they're apart during that time, and it the guys fault in the first place since HE is the one who initiate the stupid idea anyway...

Help me out here guys...
What would you do something like this happen to someone whom you really love lot?

Me? I would really really wanna forgive her and take her back, but i really dunno if i can accept the fact that she... with another man...
I dunno if i can even bring myself to even touch her anymore... Get what i mean?

Sigh... Think to much again...


And so today's update:

Spend: 23.70 for the whole day...
Save: save a ticket since she use her friend's GV movie voucher...
Wallet: 14++
Coins: 3.65 (?)
Current Bank: 145++
Saving Bank: 3500
Saving (2): 897