A sad qoute...

A month since i last update...

There will be only 3 reason why i haven't update:
1, too busy...
2, spent too much to remember what i spent on...
3, some personal problem which i'm relactant to share...

I leave it for you guys to figure out which it is...


At the mean time, here's one of my fav qoute by Freya Crescent of FF:IX,

"To be forgotten is worse than death..."


And so today's update:


Spend: 500 into saving, 550 household allowance, 70 farecard, 85 on games, 100 to help my chef buy his memory stick, 87.05 on my girlfriend's bill, 31.60 for 2nd year aniversary gift, 170.26 on last month bill, 200+ on others...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 300+
Saving Bank: 6000
Saving (2): 3508.23

Overspent...

If there's one thing my parent are impress bout me is my ability to get stuff for free...

Well, sort of...

Through phone and internet contract and others...

Till date, the stuffs which i got for free includes:

2 modem (including the new wireless one)

3 handphones (including my latest N73... Note: nobody believe i got it for free even now)

1 MP3 player

1 Osims foot massager

1 digital camera

and my latest freebie: a PSP...

Well, of course...

Not everything is always free...

Just the accessories and stuff i got for those freebies usually adds up quite alot and especially when i not very good in controlling my spending...

(Hey, don't tell me you never gone on a shopping spring before...)

If its not for this blog, i probebly won't even realise how much i've spend so far...

Can you imagine how scary it is?

But seriously, after double checking how much i've spend in just one week...

...

I think its bout time i stop all this nonsense already and get back to whatever of my life is...

Really...

And so today's update:

Spend: 287.40 for games and accessories, 49.90 for phone memory card, 50 for farecard, 500 saving, around 50+ on food...
Save: 500 into my saving (2)... (feeling guilty that i spend too much so bank in 500 more =P)
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 530+

Saving Bank: 5500
Saving (2): 3508.23

Good time at last...

I guess the only thing good bout working in this forsaken place is...

Well... the pay...

Finally got the bonus which everybodies talking bout...

So when on a little celebration with my girlfriend...

Though i kindda over spent a tad...

Well, i did put aside more than half of the whole thing for saving...

So i guess it all balance out...

I hope =P

Hack, i'll just cut to the chase and get on with my list...

It'll make more sense that way...

And so today's update:

Spend: 13 movies, 7.10 on snacks, 47.08 on lunch, 134.37 for girlfriend's bill, 1000 for household allowance, 105.50 for my games, 20 for farecard, 13 on taxi fare, and a total of 415.60 for my girlfriend's christmas gifts which include a dreamcatcher, DS lite, one DS game, some DS accesories and a limited edition 20th anniversary Casltevania collectables...

Save: 2000 into my saving (2)... (WOOHOO!!!)

Wallet: 39

Coins: ???

Current Bank: 2022.72 (can you believe i still have this much left after spending so much in one day?)

Saving Bank: 5000

Saving (2): 3007.93

Woes...

Its been bout a whole month since the whole thing bout my sleeping condition 1st begin...

Everything seems to go down hill from there on...


The doc says the same thing i read on wikipedia:
Neither the cure nor cause have yet been found...


He gave a good 4 weeks excuse from sailing (till 19th of Dec), hoping by then i would have done visiting the specialist and got a memo/report back... Till then all my activities and status are under: pending...

But what he didn't foresee is that the medic book my appointment exactly one week AFTER my excuse, on the 27th of Dec...


Nevermind that...


Now while i'm not able to sail which render me useless in all operation, the head of department fear the worse would happen and thus keep me outta all ACTUAL duty as well...

In short, no sailing or ACTUAL duty till my status is confirm...

(Note that i say ACTUAL duty... They won't let my pass my test cause of this and keep me "under-study", term they use for people who are learning to do duty, until further notice...)


Not only that, for the past month, everyday, day in day out there will be people questioning bout:
How did this happen, why must you ruin your own career, since when this happen, where got such rubbish, if you are a 'regular' why do this to yourself, everyone will have to urge to fall asleep and what makes you so special, then why/how did you sign on in the first place, if you own you have this condition all along why didn't you report it sooner, don't try to play 'punk' with me, trying to 'chao geng' is it...
If its not one of the above, they'll be most likely saying:
How useless or what a burden i am to the ship, that i'll be posted out, my contract is on the line and i'll need to pay the penalty, that i've learn to fight my inner demons, i'm not making enough effort, i'm running away from the problem and not solving it...

And so on...

But who would have understand that:
This condition is usually diagnose 10 to 20 years after the 1st incident happen, it wasn't my idea to report bout this condition and thus ruin my career, i knew since young that all along i have this bad habit, but didn't realise its actually so serious cause it have not affect neither my studies nor my past working experience, i have great difficulties fighting it cause i don't know when it actually happen and even if i do fight it, my body can't take it very well and end up fall sick very easily...


With this in mind, i've really lost all motivation to work... Think bout it, no matter how hard work or try, no credit is giving, no help is offer, nothing but piles and piles of complains are launch at me mercilessly...


Frankly speaking, under such less-welcoming situation, i would have request to leave the ship a long time ago...

But i feel that i really owe it my senior...



Here's a little story bout my department:


The department which i'm sent to (against my will), sent me to the basic training as the last "sacrisfy" batch due to (what i know so far): 1, shortage of department and thus open a last-minute class for the 'leftover' people who couldn't made it to any department... 2, the need to replace the last batch of people of my department in my ship whom have been waiting for their replacement for the last 2 years...


Beening a replacement ain't too bad less the fact that:

1. The head of my department or AKA my chief have a rather interesting reputation to keep...
   
2. My Leading senior just got post out due to medical problem...
   
3. And the last member left is the senior which i suppose to replace...

Frankly speaking, the people from my department have been rather kind towards me, especially my seniors...
Thus if i should really leave just like this, it'll be really unfair to them...


Sigh... But who is there to be fair to me?


And so today's update:

Spend: 10 on game accesories, 10 for ship's cap, 30+ on expences with girlfriend, 5 on food, 176.93 bills...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 30++
Saving Bank: 5000
Saving (2): 1007

Lost...

Its been bout 2 years into my relstionship with my girlfriend now...
Though its rather short compare to some of what i know, i've come some conculsion...

I read this mail a few years ago something bout: love is not bout loving someone perfect but to love someone imperfect perfectly...

I've come to realise the 2nd meaning behind this phrase and that is there is no perfect person in this world... No matter how hard you try to be one...
Well here's the contradicting part... It is possible to be perfect but only to so limited number of people around you... usually not more than... 5 max?

Nevermind that... Lost track of what i wanna say...

While my quest to be a perfect boyfriend for my girlfriend, i found out that while people complain what women want is upmost difficult to achieve, men's ain't not so great neither...
Oh sure... There're lots of jokes going on that all men want is girl(s) to appear naked with (insert you favourite hobby, drink, food, etc...) but the truth is, men are usually much more demanding than they think...

Here's a brief list what men would want in their women:
Pretty, figure, slim, understanding, able to cook, don't nag, don't spend their money, not to shop all the time, not to drag them to shop with them, not to ask them those "Sure die" question, not to stop them from their favourite activities (soccer, basketball, gaming, etc...), don't cry so much...

Blah blah blah... and the list goes on...
Men are greedy, i know...

So the thing is that, while its literally impossible for a men to be perfect, it ain't not so easy to find a perfect girl too... Which i believe most men have already found out by the time they even read this...

Lost track on what i'm saying again...

Ever since i've been with my girlfriend, i've been critisize by lots of people saying how stupid i am for doing all so much unnessasary things for my girlfriend... So much that sometimes my girlfriend don't get it as well and in the end, still end up quarreling with me... I can't even start listing them but that's not the point...

The point of it all is that I can never be perfect no matter how hard i try and while all this while i've been trying so hard to adept to my girlfriend's life, i should give her a chance to adept into my life too... All to let her know both Pro's & Con's bout me instead of hide my ugly side from her...

...?
Wait a minute, isn't that the whole point to start with?


Forget it...
I've totally lost track on what i'm trying to say...


And so today's update:


Spend: 50 on game, 20+ on expences with girlfriend, 5 on food, 19 for movie, 82.67 for girlfriend's bill...
Save: 5 buck on the game...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 321.48
Saving Bank: 5000
Saving (2): 1007

Narcolepsy...

For those who have know me well enough, they could easily answer this simple question bout me:

What time do i usually goes to bed?
A: Before 10pm
B: Before 12midnight
C: Before 4am
D: Before sunrise
E: Who needs a bed?


I've been having this rather interesting sleeping habit ever since primary 3...
To be able to sleep just bout anywhere, anytime, anyhow... Yes... Anyhow...

Here's a brief list of different ways i can actually fall asleep:
Studying, working, in class, in tuitorial, in experiment, waiting, sitting, standing, talking, playing game, with my eyes open, hands still scribling on paper, still active listening to others while still able to answer questions...

and the list goes on...


Now, while clearly after looking at the list even a kid would know by now that this is not normal...
But yet, i'm able to go about all this while without anyone even noticing my problem... For over 10years...
Reason simple enough, cause nobody care, nobody bother, nobody believe me...

I mean seriously, if you caught someone sleeping in class, at work, etc, the first thing that usually came to mind is that this fellow is: lazy, tired, can't be bothered...

Which is basically what i've been condemned for the past few years...


Well, i suppose it could jolly well be ignored for the rest of my life if nobody do anything...
But somebody did... and thus my chief insisted that i consult the MO bout my problem...

Narcolepsy...
A nerulogical condition most characterized by Excessive Daytime Sleepiness, episodes of sleep and disorder of rapid eye movement sleep. It is a type of dyssomnia...


Sigh...
Happy now?


And so today's update:


Spend: 100 on games, 60 on farecard, 20+ on expences with girlfriend, 10 on food, 550 for household allowance, 500 savings...
Save: guess quite alot since it could cost quite alot if i had my condition examined by specialist...
Wallet: 55
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 550++
Saving Bank: 5000
Saving (2): 1007

雨の樹

1 month and a week...
2 weeks since update...

Went to visit the 'raining tree' with my girlfriend...
The tree which named 'Miracle'...

While from far it look like a normal tree, upon closer inspection its bark is clearly artificial...
(Frankly speaking it not too hard to identify since its the only tree which is still considerably brushy compare to other scrawny trees...)


While its not all magical or what-so-ever...
It manage to calm me down from the fustration of 2 continuous week of shit dumped on me...
The 'rain' is some what cooling is this hazy and humid surrounding...

'Refreshed'...
The best word to describe the feeling...


'Miracle'...
A great name for a great tree...



And so today's update:


Spend: ...
Save: ...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 21++
Saving Bank: 4500
Saving (2): 957

For those whom i care, for those whom i love...

Its been two and a half week since i post on board ship...
Starting to feel...

Empty...


Really begining to hate this place...
Felt like i've sold my soul...
Not only have it taken away my pride, my life, my game...
Now its even on the verge of taking away my love ones too...

Recently lots of my friends have been looking for me... Saying i've seems to disappear for this world...While my girlfriend is very kind enough to understand my situation, i still feel i owe her and my friends an apology...

To my dear friends,
I apologise for not keeping contact with you...
I regret not being able to keep our strings close and letting it drift away...
I'm truly sorry for not able to do anything bout it...

To my beloved girlfriend,
Though i may not be able to be there when you need me, nor am i able to do anything to make the situation better...
My promise to you remain strong as ever...
Nothing shall ever sway me away from you...
I shall continue to be a better man...
Only for you...

And people,
Till i leave this forsaken place, i may still have quite a problem keeping contact with all of you...
But believe me,
People may have forgotten Jack,
But Jack will never forget you...

My friends,
This blog is writen for all of you...



And so today's update:


Spend: 10 farecard, 4 on bread, 2 to replace my pen which my shipmate lost, and some on drinks...
Save: Quite abit on medication bill i guess...
Wallet: 14
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 324.15
Saving Bank: 4500
Saving (2): 1007

A sailor's life...

Some say that sailors are the 'Man of the man', tempered by the rough sea, they fear none...

I don't know bout other country but from what i've seen in my place so far, i'll say they're rather...

Hmmm... Can't find the word to describe it...
To feel strongly that a man should be strong and tough while outcasting the gentler ones as gays...

I'm not saying that that believe is totally wrong... Cause a man should have a certain degree of toughness in order to protect the one he loves and to basically, just be a man...
But i don't think they are the bunch of people who you would wanna look up to them as role model...

You see, there is this saying bout the people here that goes: Sons of the sea...
Sound good and reasonable but the catch come when the full sentence is told, which is:
We are the sons of the sea and fathers of many lands...

To put it short, people here could jolly well be some of the worst bunch you could ever knew...
Heavy smokers, been through the red light district of almost every country which they sailed to, couldn't care less much bout how they're love ones feel when they're away, vulgarity is their second languge and drink alcohol as if they are H2O...

And for those who are not one of the above, most likely they'll do everything to convert them which include: peer pressure, force alcohol and most commonly used, discrimination...
Which basically means, they won't accept you until you prove you're one of them...

Which i personally feel that if they want me to be anything above...
OVER MY DEAD BODY...

No hell way am i gonna lose myself just so i can fit into these bunch of barbarians...
I love myself, my sanity, my geeky and nerdy way, my computer and my games, my feminine side which allows me to understand other's feeling and most importantly i love my girlfriend...

I don't care if i'm a gay to them as long as my girlfriend likes who i am...


Beside, they say that the divorce and break up rates amoung them are ridiculously high...

I wonder why...



And so today's update:


Spend: 500 saving, 550 household allowance, 120 saving (2), 55 for auction game, 12.50 lunch, 4.80 for yesterday dinner, 50 for farecard, 8 haircut, 6.50 for passport photo and maybe a somemore not mosre than 20 for stuff that i can't remember...
Save: At least 12 for the auction game which retail price 60++
Wallet: 22
Coins: 3.05
Current Bank: 334.15
Saving Bank: 4500
Saving (2): 1007

Hot sun, no sand, rough sea... VERY rough sea...

One week out at sea... (technically its 3 day 3 night, but close enough)

The good thing is i only spent 3+ for the whole week...


The bad thing?

Let see now... Where should i start?
The ship which i'm posted to is one of the oldest ship in S'pore Navy... Still floating...
Well... If i were to describe it in one word, i'll say: STINKS...

Really... It smells... The chocked up toilet bowl, the rottening of leftover in the clogged sewage, the corrosion of the brass and metal from the salt water, the smog from the engine, and worst of all, the contaminated air in the air-conditioning which is filled with years of vomiting odour...

Speaking of vomitting, i've learnt the very hard way that i have very serious motion sickness...
After vomitting an average of 2 bags per day... i think i've lost a good 5kg or so... And when your sea sick is as bad as mine, you can't tell whether your stomach is:
hungry, stomach ache, just wanna vomit or all of the above...
By the 2nd day, all thats coming out are plain juice mix of water and stomach acid... Lying down helps... ALOT... But the only problem is, how long do you think you can stay down there before someone drags you up...

The ship rocks harder than heavy metal... When its moving, it rocks back and fore, like a mix between the roller coaster and the pirate ship, just damn freaking longer... When is stops, it rolls side to side, which makes walking more difficult than on ice... And if your thinking moving in slower speed helps, there's the smog from the engine which you gotta deal wtih...

Sigh... i've never been so grateful to be able to walk on flat stable ground, able to eat without worring the spoon may go up my nose, able the sleep without fearing of vomitting when i wake up, able to shit without worrying the shit may end up in my face...


All hope is not lost i guess...
Though there's 3 things i've learnt in this trip...

1, the sea out there is really blue...
After being confined in this small island for so long, i almost forgot that the sea i always see at the beach is not really green... Kindda reminding you that, if you keep yourself too closed up for too long, you'll tends to lost sight of the bigger picture...

2, there's another world beyond the horizon...
Not everyday your able the see such sight where from all angles around you is nothing but sky and sea for as far as you can see... (i think i put 1 too many 'see' between the 'sea's... oh well...)
No birds, no fishs, not even a tiny shadow of a distance ship...
Almost makes you wonder: How big IS this world... Really...

Last bout not least, there is no total darkness...
Even in the middle of nowhere out in sea, it'll never be pitch black to a point you can't see whats in front of you... Cause even in the darkest of the night, there'll always be even a star to bring you that tiniest light you need to show you the way... In my case, there's a very generous full moon to lift my spirit with a path of moonlight that shimmers cross the gentle waves of the ocean... It almost make the whole trip worth while...

Well, ALMOST... If i wasn't vomiting my lungs out that time...



1st time in 10 months after signing the paper,
i truly regret it...



And so today's update

Spend: 2 on lunch and 1.20 for a candy...
Save: earn 18bucks from spare change from the com i build for my parent...
Wallet: ???
Coins: ??? (okay, i'm lazy... sue me =P)
Current Bank: 20++
Saving Bank: 4000
Saving (2): 880

Moment of truth...

Could jolly well be the poorest period in my life...

WAY overspent this month, too much on food (thanks the to 1week break, constantly went to out to meet my girlfriend and of course feeding her), too much (than what i'm suppose to) on games (pre-order it... hey the games are good okay?)...

Sigh...
Why does all the good games have to come all at the same time?

Oh and for goodness sake STOP giving comments bout how stupid i'm for paying my girlfriends bill...
Yes its a heavy burden but i trying to lighten her load here...
Have any of you guys ever thing bout what you girls are going through whenever you go out on a date? In my case, she's not working it yet and thus still taking allowance from her parents... Having only 250 per month for all her expences including phone bill and transport, you think she can afford going out all so offen and keeping up with the phone bill?
What i'm doing here is so i can lighten her load so she's able to go on a date with more ease...

And hopefully earn the trust of her parent too...



And so today's update

Spend: 25 for a game guidebook, 15 manga, near 100+ on food...
Save: Yeah right...
Wallet: 22
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 20++ (no, not 2k+, TWENTY plus)...
Saving Bank: 4000
Saving (2): 880 (ate into my savings already...)

John Tucker Must Die...

Just watch the movie this afternoon, the typical movie bout how girls goes crazy over 1 hot guy and so on...

Now, after such show you just couldn'tbut to ask:
Why girls dig jerks?

Chinese there's a say which literally translate as:
Woman shan't love if man ain't bad...

I mean, what is if all this 'bad guy' thingy which all girls go ga-ga about? We all know that he's gonna dump you in the end, make a fool outta you in the end, totally break your heart as easy as breaking the wooden chopstick for asian food...
Yet, girls still couldn't help but to fell almost shamelessly (pardon my language) for them...

Why?

Take this John Tucker for example, they all know his a player, he always have at least 2 'girlfriends' whom he's going out with, he always lie to get the girl he want, use the same old cheesy (yet smart i must admit) line on every girl, and worst of all claim victory for the girls whom he bangged...

So what is it that girls see in him?
I mean, oh sure his rich, his handsome, his macho, had an ass girls kill for, captain of basketball team, witty, charming, knows how to make a girl feel good...
...
I just answer my own question didn't I?


I think i'll just go hang myself now...


And so today's update:
(Note: For the sake of those who i will be going out this coming week, i shall keep the numbers in my possesion unknown till the end of the week)

Spend: 48 for my last pre-order game, 20 for a present for my friend's birthday, 287 for bills, 10 farecard, lost count on food...
Save: you kidding me?
Wallet: ???
Coins: ???
Current Bank: ???
Saving Bank: 4000
Saving (2): ???

Heaviest week of my life...

Sigh...
Though its over but its still hurt to lick my wounds...
Maybe i'll go see a doc soon...

Nothing much you guys need to know, except i can breath bit easier now...

Commo everybody, follow me...

BREATH...
*inhale*
.
.
.
*exhale*

Ahh... life is beautiful...

Oh and my back hurts...
Maybe cause for the last 72hours i only slept bout 10...

Need... sleep...
Zzz...


And so today's update:

Spend: 96 for game and stuff, 25+ at a really cool resturant for a farewell party, 130+ girlfriend's bill, 50 farecard, 550 household allowance, 500 monthly saving, 100 return to saving(2)... (amazing how fast my money goes the moment it comes isn't it...)
Save: 100 earn for duty, got back 20 from friend...
Wallet: 14
Coins: ???
Current Bank: 475++
Saving Bank: 4000
Saving (2): 997

Worst case senario...

Just went to watch "The Devil Wear Prada" with my girlfriend is afternoon...
Quite a good show i muxt say, though the starting looking like its just one of those chick-flick...
(Oh and i love Miranda's white hair, really give her a the emperess look)...

Ok, call me strange for all i care, it a habit of mine ever since i'm a 'only-child' of the family that i like to reflect upon myself on the worst case senario should anything happen to just bout everything (which explains alot why i'm always talking to myself too...)...

The thing is, for the past near 2 years of my relationship with my girlfriend, i've constantly reflect on myself all sort of wicked senarios (i worry too much, i know...) to... how do i say... Prepare myself should god forbid any of those rubbish would happen... And also at the same time, testing myself to see what are the limits of my tolerance towards my girlfriend's lady's temper... (you know, PMS and stuff...) All in all the main purpose is so that i can better man for my girlfriend...
You people may laugh you heads off, but believe me, it've done wonders for us... I've learnt to be extra patient towards her problems, give her the space she need, not constranining her social circle, understands what is it she likes in her hobby (I've never thought i'll EVER bring myself to read a book word for word seriously...)... And she have too learned to understand my needs, my way and my life...

So far my bottom line conclusion is that:
As long as she doesn't cheat on me, i'll love her with everything i got no matter how much shit she throws at me...

Ok, for those who are wondering: 'so what those it have to do with the movie i just watched?'

Now, THIS by far is the WORST senario i've yet to test upon myself, which is inspire by one scene in the movie... Imagine this:
Girl get over demanding, guy finally lose his sanity, guy initiate some time apart to cool off, girl broke down, girl met old friend who happen to have a crush on her for a long time and was there for her, they had a few drinks, they have a night *AHEM* together, girl regret it, girl wanna go back to her guy...

So the case now is that, technically she wasn't cheating on the guy since they're apart during that time, and it the guys fault in the first place since HE is the one who initiate the stupid idea anyway...

Help me out here guys...
What would you do something like this happen to someone whom you really love lot?

Me? I would really really wanna forgive her and take her back, but i really dunno if i can accept the fact that she... with another man...
I dunno if i can even bring myself to even touch her anymore... Get what i mean?

Sigh... Think to much again...


And so today's update:

Spend: 23.70 for the whole day...
Save: save a ticket since she use her friend's GV movie voucher...
Wallet: 14++
Coins: 3.65 (?)
Current Bank: 145++
Saving Bank: 3500
Saving (2): 897

Night Walker...

Day walker is a vampire's term use to describe one of their kind that has grant the ability to roam during the day, which pretty much make them much more deadlier...

I like to describe myself as a Night walker since for some reason ever since young i'm always more alert and awake at night...
It has came to a point when even my body heals better after 12 midnight, whether i'm asleep or not...

And also cause......

Anyway, don't feel like sleeping en tonight since i'll be going back camp tomorrow morning... And especially since i'm doing duty tomorrow when i'll be spending a good 60% of my time sleeping anyway...

Keep having flash back of those topic which my nechan and i were chatting bout yesterday...
Bout different people from the higher, the middle and the lower class family...

I can't really speak for others but as for my side, my parent both grew up from litherally the bottom class or somewhere there (they always tell me scare stories bout their childhood)...
Upon reaching adulthood and marrage, they work really hard to improve their situation to that of a middle class... I can still remember that back when i'm really REALLY young, we don't have much in the house, not even a decent sofa... But i really like those days, simple and happy...

Things change alot since I reach primary school... My dad start to get obsess over how people think bout him and the family, and the family pretty much went down hill from there...
Though we're much more well to do by then, nothing make any sense anymore...
Things got worse by the time I got to secondary school, lots of problem at home and i litherally fall into the dark side of life... My result WAS pretty impressive once but slides down like a bowling ball on a 85 degrees slope on grease... One moment i was in the A class, before i knew it i dropped to E class...

Through this episode, i really felt i got condemn by lots of the A and B class students for my falling grades... Even my dad turn eyes on me... It is there i can really see the differents between the eyes of people when your one of them and when your not...

People who know me better would know i'm just disturbed and dislikes studys... Though the rest thinks i'm degenerating to a worthless bump... Even till i got to poly, i still get comments from old A class classmate that they thought i'm in ITE... And even after double comfirming with others, they still gimme that look as if i'm still not good enough for them since they made it to some hot shot JC...

For ranting out so much, i must give a fair statement in which i admit that i myself give the same eyes on other people as well on ocasion too... i don't have much excuse nor will i deny the fact that i do... My only defence is that i usually gave such aditude only to people who are lazy especially when they knew very well they're incompetant of the assignment... But i must apologise should i have misjudge those whom i didn't get to know well enough before i pass judgement on them...

Sigh... talked too much again...


And so today's update:

Spend: 13 on meal...
Save: some, since nowadays i let my girlfriend pay the smaller change...
Wallet: ???
Coins: 3.65 (?)
Current Bank: 150++
Saving Bank: 3500
Saving (2): 897

Long x3 awaited...

You think after 3 week without updating anything i can still keep up with my list for the month?
Not a chance...
But here's what i'm gonna do...
i'll just write down whatever i can remember and the rest went all to either food, transport or bill...
It always does anyway...

Now let see if i can remember how it all started...

Ok, the week when i 1st went back to camp after the break, i got slam right in the face with 3 weekend duty straight in the face... We got a offer of sun duty (mine is on sat) to earn bit extra cash, and initially the guys' plan is to stay through the weekend together...
To put it simple, they play me out and sold their sat while using the earning of sun to find a replacement on sat... The officer incharge on sat gave us shit that day that i totally lost my mood and sold off the sun duty, meaning earning = zero...

The following week went by very stressfully since i totally miscalculate my allowance for the month and got a major paper... Though it went by pretty smoothly, the duty on fri cock up again...
The bunch of recruit for duty (AKA understudies) was with us that night to learn bout doing duty... People on duty were to sleep in a designated room so as they can be easily call upon should something happen, but there's not enough room for all so the recruit went back to their bunk to sleep...

Unfortunately, these moron didn't lock the door at night while their sleeping and 5 phones with a wallet were stolen that night... The original release time of 8am got push back to 9.30am just for a full bunk raid and full body search before we leave camp...
Think thats bad enough? 1 hour later after we left, they call us back cause the head commander decide to pursuit the matter... $7 spent just to get a cab back camp...
The final leaving time: 3.30pm...

At least one good thing happen, for the 1st time in our near 2 years relationship, i finally brought my girlfriend out the watch some stars... Though we're suppose to be looking out for Mars and its not as great nor grand as it should be but it still very nice...
Just to hold her while she rest her head on me looking up for stars... Whatever in which we can even find... And would be a whole lot better if it weren't so crowded and the indian family singing along....

One thing my mom taught me is that once you reach a certain age, you gotta set aside some money simply for emergency use... That day came the next day... Went with my girlfriend to her class reunion at some fancy resturant in Orchard, a buffet dinner for 13 heads... I was there just telling the guys bout the up coming BMT stuff which they shall be facing soon while my girl just play along with her friends... What i didn't expect is that for some food which ain't so fantastic (all i can easily get from hawker, cheaper and better) which i didn't eat much anyway, the bill accumulate to a whooping $303... Thank god i've 2 cards with me...
My guess is we're actually paying for the atmosphere, not the food...

Sigh... And so, the following week... more papers, more work, and gotta help my dad find a com for himself which he wanna download songs and shows from some sleazy site which we all knows its gonna be jammed with virus and adware infectors (noway i'm paying)... I'm just trying to find a com which is virtually impossible to find to save my poor hard earned computer from suffering the fate of being gibbed (gamer term of being blown up into smithereens of nothingness)...

Just went for a long awaited dinner with my nechan Anthea...
She a great person to talk and shop with (though half the time i've the slightest idea where hell we're heading)... Fun, happy go lucky, ethusiastic, street smart woman, its almost hard to believe she's really 23 (she don't look like one too)... One thing i like bout her is she kindda share the same view bout nowadays sociaty as i do... We both been through quite a dark part of it and experience what its like to be within the higher class while we're nowhere their standard...
Get what i mean?

And as for my bud...
Somehow just really can't bring myself to even ask him bout how's its going on between him and his girl... The only thing i can find myself talking to him bout is the common topic which we have been saying since sec1: game...
At least we still have something to talk about i guess...

And so today's update:

Spend: Totally lost track... sigh...
Save: Like i can really save any...
Wallet: 34
Coins: 3.65
Current Bank: 150++
Saving Bank: 3500
Saving (2): 897

Dilemma...

Its just simply amazing how much one can go through weeks with nothing much to say while suddenly jamming up with tons of ideas in just mere few hours...


1st of all, i'm still pretty much disturb over this matter bout my best bud and my ex-crush...
Have you have been through a situation where you have no luck with this girl you like but before you knew it, you buddy is going after her... i've been there... 3rd time now i believe...

What matter most here is my bud here is turning me for advice on how to win her heart... For a starter, she didn't gimme a very good impression since the last time i saw her but from what i can analyse here, they both just might be the perfect match... I think...
The last thing i wanna do now is to give him the wrong info bout her and ruin his future... So what i initially suggest is that i have a talk with her to see both side of the story before i make any false judgement...

The only problem now is my girlfriend... Well, you can't really blame her for not liking that idea can you... To assure my poor girlfriend and to give her i peace of mind i decide not to call her... Which now just bring me back to the problem, how am i gonna face my bud?


2nd, chinese have a saying that goes (my girlfriend's saying i'm beinging to sound like Tan Ah Teck from Under One Roof: long before you time in the southen province of china...), every home have its own set of almost illegible bible...

Every house have a different story to tell... Not all are pleasing to hear... It takes one who have a tough story of their own to be able to comprehand what another might be going through...
I... never believe that mine is the toughest of all... Just know that mine ain't as easy as what others might think... Thus i never boast bout my battle-scar and instead, always like to use this... Gift... in return to help other who may not able to cope well with their own story...

With this small little wisdom i've gain way beyond my age, i've help few friends in need... One of course in my dearest girlfriend... But not all have i succeed... Which is why i'm never very proud of this... gift of mine...
I believe that when your giving people advice bout relationship and life especially, you more or less need to have a certain degree of seriousness, cause it'll be rude to give false assumption to people who believe in you... Very much like the True fortune telling, too much or too little information may vary the decision that person will take... Be good or be bad, it'll all be the responsiblity of the person whose giving the advices...

Harsh it is... Maybe i'm being too hard on myself...
But...
i'm putting my life at stake everytime i give people my advise...



And so today's update:

Spend: 20 farecard, 7 breakfast, 14 movie, 3.90 her mint (again), 15 for a emergency NDS power supply...
Save: movie on mon is always cheaper, meal at my poly is even better =P
Wallet: 17
Coins: 0.95
Current Bank: 1020.94(?)
Saving Bank: 3000(?)
Saving (2): 1000

The greatest mystery in the world....

What women want?

As the end of my holiday comes to the end, thinking back what happen just this few days really makes me ponder bout this age old eternal question...
the term: Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, isn't there for joke...

They just simply don't make any sense at all from times to times...
For eg: Yesterday my girlfriend wake up in a bad mood with 'R.A.G.E.' writen all over her face. Totally ignoring all my comments and concerns towards her, even broke up a fight just for what you ask?

Ans: A nightmare of me cheating on her...

I spent 2hours trying to console and comfort her that its not real, it never happened and it never will, blah blah blah...
Okay, i understand enough that women are very sensitive and emotional, thus it hurts them alot (though a tad too much) just the mere thought of something unforgiving should happen and pains them more than stabbing through their hearts...

Or maybe cause it just PMS... (i know cause i keep track on her cycle okay? And guys, i suggest you do the same too if you wanna keep you sanity...)


And just now i had yet again another fight with her cause i was trying to contact my old crush-for-10years-girl (very very long story...) as my best bud is trying his luck for her and i wanna find out if she is worthy of him (yes, if SHE is worthy of HIM, he's just too nice for her... Just my humble opinion, excuse me...)...

(Wai, if your reading this, sorry man... Don't mean to keep it from you... Just thought i shouldn't mix my personal life with yours)

By the by, and so we quarrel for a good 3 hours and she throw all sort of rubbish at me, even taboo subject which she promise me not to bring up again...
(Yet in the mist of the quarrel, (we are perhaps the only couple who can quarrel through SMS), i'm still able to cast aside everything to buy her favourite limited edition mint which i came across on my way home...)


Like i've said, women just don't make sense... She can broke her promise anytime she want while we're dead meat should we even dare to think bout it...
(Not that i'm actually blaming her consider how jealous she is and her period just came this afternoon where i actually have to go find the kotex for her...... Don't ask how i got it...)


The point being, i don't dare to say i AM that perfect or what-so-ever (but girls, frankly speaking, where can you find a guy who would keep track on your cycle and even go all out to get you a kotex when you don't have one...), but i am trying... Perhap i'm really a hypocrite here, just doing what ''i think i'm suppose to do'' to make her happy...

But...
I really wanna make her happy...


So people, feel free to drop your comment... Girls are most welcome...
Thanks again...


And so today's update:

Spend: 10 farecard, 13 lunch, 6 snacks, 7.80 her mint, 30 for yet another 2nd-hand game...
Save: 50 from my mom belated birthday gift...
Wallet: 50
Coins: 2.25
Current Bank: 1080.94
Saving Bank: 3000
Saving (2): 1000

Refuel...

After 3 months of weekends, the NDP is finally over...
In which all the time we suffered, time away from love ones and friends earns us a good 4 days (5 if you include sunday) off...

I'll say: WE DESERVED IT!!!

Its finally on such days where we can finally take a good long rest we need so desperately... And just in the right time where our pay for the month finally arrived too...

Most people i know already gone for vacation, celebration, etc...

Me?
With this flu which i just caught, i'll be just staying back and rest for the while, thank you...
(I never have much luck with holidays, always come down with all sort of illness...)


And so today's update:

Spend: 550 for household allowance, 184.15 for girlfriend's bill (sigh...), 11.75 lunch, 20 farecard...
Save: Soon enough...
Wallet: 50
Coins: 1.55
Current Bank: 1106.94
Saving Bank: 3000
Saving (2): 1000

Homeless birthday...

Every year i always make a prediction that my birthday would suck like hell...
This year i'll let you people decide whether if it really does...

i spent 10 buck just to rush back home the day before my birthday just hope i can get some rest and maybe time of my own... i wasn't expecting any party, presents, surprise or what-so-ever, all i want is to lay down on my soft warm bed and play my game...

When i reach home, everything look normal, no lights, nobody, no nothing...

...Till i open the door of my room to find it pile up with my mom's TRASH...

The room is so filled with rubbish that there isn't even any walking space at all... Even my bed is full of her junk... i gave her a call and all she can say is: oh your back, bout the stuff in your room, you just slowly move it to my workshop (AKA storeroom) and i'll buy you dinner when i get home k?

At this time, i've 2 option in mind: 1st, Move all her stuff to her place like what she told me to do or i could: 2nd, TRASH THE WHOLE PLACE UP!!!

I mean, WTF!? Can't i even have a peaceful time on my birthday!? i offer her not to make any party or buy me any present to save her money and trouble, only requesting her to pay for my dental bill... And THIS is what i get for my 21st birthday!?

The moment i find myself trying to grab something to throw, i pick up my phone, call my mother: forget bout dinner, i'm going back camp (she can still innocently say: oh they call you up is it?) and went back camp... While buying myself a birthday present on the way...

Reach camp, fixed a little pre-birthday dinner (cupnoodle), sleep...

Next day? NDP rehearsal... Nuff said...
Didn't eat much that day, been having stomach ache for the last whole week... Didn't have the appetite to eat much...

Didn't go home that night... i knew if i went home i'll surely have a big fight with my parent... Why don't i meet my girlfriend? She came down with a flu... Though she did offer for me to stay at her place, i reject her offer as... well... what am i gonna say to her mom?
In the end, stay back in camp again, with only 2 pieces of cookie for dinner...

Went home the next morning, couldn't bring myself to speak to my parent, just a simple wave and nod of my head to answer her question (and she still ask: in what way did i offended you?)...

This conclude my 21st birthday...

i know perhaps that it is i who do upon myself...
But if you were in my shoe, what would you do?
Feel free to drop a comment...



And so today's update:

Spend: lost track, only remember 10 on comic, 59 for 'birthday present', 23.30 on total cab fare, 65 to repair my portable HD, 36.03 on belated 'birthday meal', 1.40 on drink...
Save: 35 for duty...
Wallet:10
Coins: 1.90
Current Bank: 182.06
Saving Bank: 3000
Saving (2): 1000